First Post (I don't want you to have high expectations about my creativity)

Hmm. No fanfare. It seems like there should be something to mark my entrance into a world I never thought I'd enter. Guess I'll just shout YAY! in my head.

Anyhoo, here it is, first post. A short background seems like a logical starting point. DH and I met in college about 11 years ago and started dating shortly thereafter. We were happy and in love, so we got married in 2002. By 2004, we were still happy and in love so we thought we'd start a family. In 2006, OB/GYN says "you'll never have children on your own." Less happy, but still in love. Later in 2006, hubby has surgery to correct a varicocele. Happy and hopeful and still in love. 2007, still no BFP. Time to see RE #1. No thanks, we'll look for someone else. Starting to get a little frustrated. Try praying harder and asking God what to do. Feel frustrated (but still in love). By early 2008, with lots of recommendations from lots of people, we find RE #2 at super-clinic. Happy, hopeful and in love. By late 2008, we're down two cycles of IUI with clomid. That's where we are now-- happy and in love, but without kids, and maybe a little more jaded for the journey.

Over the last month, we've done a lot of praying about what to do next. After two failed IUIs (which I know is nothing compared to a lot of people), it feels like time to move on. When we first saw RE #2, we said we wanted to avoid IVF as long as possible. But, with bills piling up and the odds against us, we started feeling like it might be more cost-effective over the long run to just bite the IVF bullet. Still, we were uncomfortable with the idea of freezing embryos. For hubby, this is totally a life starts at conception, embryos are babies, black and white issue. For me, it's a lot more gray. I cannot judge what other people decide to do. Anyone facing IVF is in a ridiculous situation, facing questions most people will never have to. There aren't any for-sure answers. But, I did know that I didn't feel comfortable freezing embryos either, for whatever reason.

So, without a lot of hope, DH and I met with RE#2 last Friday. Well, to make a long story short, RE#2 says if we're uncomfortable freezing embryos, we can freeze eggs. Wait, what? Why didn't I think of that? The idea is that it starts as a normal IVF cycle, but when we do our retrieval, they will only fertilize a few of the eggs to be transferred that cycle. The rest will be frozen, unfertilized, for future use. If we need them later, a few will be thawed, fertilized, and transferred. Just a step more complicated (and just a bit more expensive) than a regular FET. And, at the end of all of this, if we have leftover eggs, we can have them destroyed with no qualms.

So wow, God answers prayer. How cool is that? It had been a long time since I prayed about something and actually got a right in my face answer about it. It felt so good. And that's where we are now. We're about 95% sure we're going to do IVF as soon as RE figures out our protocol. In the meantime, I'm on the pill, which seems like it should be weird, but somehow it's just another in a long line of medicines. So, I'll let you know when this is a go. I should hear from RE tomorrow, and DH and I will decide 100% to go for it. In the meantime, I'll just keep obsessively reading all the IF blogs I can find, which is so super helpful in making me feel less alien and much, much more informed and armed for this adventure.